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The Secret to Success: Does Your Child Know It?

Growth Mindset: Ditch failure and fight back

How many of you want your children to be successful?

All of us!

Happy children with growth mindset

But will they succeed in every attempt they make in their lives, be it exams, sports, careers, friends or even their love lives?

No one can promise them that.

What if failure threatens them that they refuse to even attempt?

During the dark night, she tossed and turned on the bed. What if she fails? An anxious thought gripped her, paralyzing her ability to move. In spite of being the best student, her fear made her skip the exam the next day, just because she struggled to solve a few problems the previous night. - And she lost before it began.

The fact that someone is highly intelligent or privileged doesn't matter if they give up on their very first setback.

Isn’t it awful?

So what is that thing that makes people go after what they want even after facing multiple setbacks.

Why some cope with the difficulty, while some give up?

Mindset problem feeling scared for exams

Mindset - How you look at things makes all the difference:

Mindset is the way you think and perceive things.

Having the right mindset sets the stage for success or failure. It is the right mindset that brings out resilience in people to get up and bounce back. And that makes the growth mindset the key ingredient that helps people succeed.

Mindset quote

A peep inside the mindset: What is a mindset?

Psychologist Carol S. Dweck, in her book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success says that “Mind-sets are just beliefs. They’re powerful beliefs, but they’re just something in your mind, and you can change your mind.”

You can choose to look at the world the way you want. You can see it as giving you opportunities, or you can perceive it as scarce. You can believe that what you have cannot be changed, or you can change what you have. You are finished or you are bouncing back.

In a growth mindset, abilities are believed to be cultivable rather than inherited and unable to change. It is a belief that intelligence or personality is something that can be developed rather than something that is fixed, or carved on stone.

For example, believing that either you are born smart or you aren't smart. “When people believe their basic qualities can be developed, failures may still hurt, but failures don’t define them. And if abilities can be expanded—if change and growth are possible—then there are still many paths to success,” says Carol.

What is the difference between Growth and Fixed Mindset?

Having a fixed mindset is like imagining your mind being a brick wall—hard to change it. Having a growth mindset, however, is like your brain being a Play-Doh. You can easily change it to any shape you want and it will oblige with less to no issues.

More specifically, people with fixed mindsets believe that it is difficult to insert knowledge and change their way of thinking and growing.

People with a growth mindset are basically the opposite; they think that their mind can easily be changed and edited if you wanted to do it.

People with Play-Doh minds think that challenges that are lost or failed are learning opportunities, and effort will help them improve. Despite things being hard, they pushed on. If they fail, they rebound back like a spring, except stronger and more prepared than before.

Brick Wall people, on the other hand, think that failed challenges are nothing but proof that they are beginning to become failures, and believe that effort is something for the incapable.

When something comes naturally to them, they believe that they are special, and no one can beat them.

However, once they hit something or someone they can’t beat or understand, they crumble and have no strength to pull themselves back up.

What are some of the beliefs of people with a Growth mindset?

A person with a growth mindset believes that:

You can change who you are with the right efforts • You can always bounce back from your failures • Failures don’t define who you are • Setbacks give you opportunities to grow • In spite of what your genetic makeup is, you can always improve and get better • You can always substantially change how intelligent you are • When things get tough, it gets exciting

While Fixed mindset believe, like:

Oh! I can’t do this job. I’m not talented like her. I’m not smart enough to solve this question. I can’t solve math problems. There is nothing left in the life? What’s the point of doing anything anymore now? The world is out to get me. Nobody loves me, everybody hates me. Life stinks. I’m stupid. I’m the unluckiest person on this earth. Life is unfair and all efforts are useless.

How to change mindset in children:

When you cultivate a growth-mindset in your children, you provide them with a tool that helps them survive crises and set back. They learn how to bounce back when things don’t go the way they wanted it to go.

Believing that qualities can be cultivated leads to a host of different thoughts and actions, taking them down an entirely different road.

They learn that they have a choice to look at the world in a way that makes them feel strong and happy, or in a way that makes they feel frustrated and weak.

Cultivating Growth mindset in children:

It’s easy to get caught up in negative thinking when you’re used to setbacks. Shift the focus from “what’s going wrong” to “what’s going well.” When they say, “I can’t do this, it is hard. I’m not smart in math like her. I can’t talk like her.” Tell them that, right now they may find it difficult, but they can always do better by practicing and learning.

When your child grapples with hard problems, let them know: “Your mistakes don’t define you. You might be finding it hard in the moment, but there is always a tomorrow waiting for you to come back better prepare - It’s not an end, so don’t forget to show up.”

Let them know that:

You can always substantially change how intelligent you are Even when you are failing, you know you are learning. Your failures don’t define you Effort is what makes you smart or talented Show up, always, do not run Use the right words to your brain

When they know their brains are capable of growing, they are more confident, resilient, and not afraid to fail!

By choosing positive words, you can help your child develop a growth mindset. Our words, as well as the words our children speak as inner dialogue, influence their beliefs.

Whenever you interact with children, be careful to avoid negative words that can cause limiting beliefs.

Help them know that they have a choice to feel strong and happy, or frustrated and weak

Encourage children to see the world from a solution-focused perspective.

Help them question their limiting belief

Let them know failure is a part of journey, each setback a teaching lesson for growth.

And cultivate wisdom that there is another day waiting for them; all they have to do is show up.

Why growth mindset is in demand:

Mindset seems to be the biggest differentiator for people who have succeeded in their lives. They consider obstacles as a chance for learning and growing. That makes it the most sought-after soft skill in the present job market.

Top soft skills in demand in India:

The attitude of believing that you can learn and improve can help you bounce back from adversity. When you face a setback or encounter a challenging task, you don't give up thinking that you are incapable.

“I’m not smart enough, good enough.” Instead, you come back with conviction. When things get tough, you tell yourself that “Yes, I find it hard right now, but it is something I can learn in time by practicing, learning the right skills, and putting effort.”

In the current dynamic environment, companies are desperately seeking it in their employees.

Share with us how your children see problem and deal with them. Leave your comment below. If you enjoyed what you’ve read, please share.

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Hi there! I’m Muzna, the Founder and Editor of The Bliss Key, I live in San Francisco with my family and by profession I’m an eLearning consultant with more than a decade of experience, and a degree in Business Management and Instructional Design

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