Do you get tongue tied in a new environment?
How many times have you been in a meeting and wished you could have spoken up, instead you were left tongue-tied? You have been on a date and the conversation just fizzled out? You wanted to meet someone important but when you met your mind goes blank. You can't think of anything to say, and the conversation comes to a halt.
Well, I'm here to tell you that having a dazzling conversation is not only possible, but it's also a must in today's world. By having a dazzling conversation, you can impress your boss, charm your date, and make new friends.
You might be thinking, "But wait, I'm not naturally a good conversationalist." Well, that's okay, because like any skill, it can be learned and practiced.
What stops you from having a conversation:
It feels awkward to just walk past someone, say hello and start talking. Fear of rejection stops you from taking the plunge.
You fear, "What if they don't like you or what you say? What if they don't respond you? What if they have no interest in talking to you?"
You being an introvert, would prefer to stand alone with a glass of drink in hand. It’s work fine if you don’t need to make connections. But in business setting, social gathering and dating it boiled down to likeability.
When we like someone, we like what they have to offer. So, if you want to influence people, let’s not your fear deter you. Instead try coming up with a dopamine inducing conversation to increase your memorability.
To come out of feeling tongue-tied and awkward in conversations; look no further! Here is your step-by-step guide to having awesome conversations:
1- Stop being boring:
Do you know what we like? We like to get that dose of dopamine in our system. Anything that make us feel good, we like doing it. And that’s why we like to talk to people who make us feel good. If you make your conversation interesting, igniting and fun you have high chances of inducing that dopamine in people.
Next time when you are talking avoid being boring and dud, try adding a hint of wit and sense of humor to spice up your conversation.
A: How's your day been so far?
B: It's been good, thanks for asking. How about you?
A: Well, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, so it's been a bit of a rough start.
I hear that's a common side-effect of sleeping on a bed with legs.
B: Ha! Good one. I'll have to remember that for next time.
So don't be afraid to inject some jokes and puns into the conversation, but make sure they're appropriate and not offensive.
You stick to conformity because you are sacred of refusal. That’s why you try to be like everyone else. But being like everyone else is boring. Our mind seeks novelty, so when you come around as people who dress same, talk same, who try to fit into a mold, you become forgettable.
So be yourself, because no one is like you. At the end of the day, the most important thing is to be genuine. People can sense when someone is being fake, so just relax and let your true personality shine through.
You don’t need to atrociously go against the line. Slight variation from what others do is good enough to gain the attraction.
3-Bring in the confidence and charm:
Confidence attracts people to you like iron to magnets. When you talk with confidence people listen to what you have to say. Somewhere we look for a leader who now what they say, what they want.
4-Ask questions that excites other:
When you meet someone for the first time, you scratch your head what to say, what to talk about? Try having a conversation starter to give you good start. Initially you can have a general topic to start with and see how the other is taking it up.
5-Use conversation starters:
Using conversation openers can be a great way to break the ice and get a conversation started.
You can try these:
Social events: "I haven't seen you in a while, how have you been?" or "What brings you to this event tonight?"
Networking events: "What do you do for work?" or "How did you get into your field?"
On a date: "What do you like to do for fun?" or "I love your outfit, where did you get it?"
In a meeting: "How was your weekend?" or "What did you think of the presentation?"
In a group setting: "What did everyone think of the movie we saw last night?" or "Has anyone tried the new restaurant down the street?"
6-Let them talk and express:
Based on what ignite their interest, move the conversation in the direction you want to take but, in the beginning, give others option to talk about themselves and when they do listen to them carefully, with interest.
No one likes talking to someone who is clearly just waiting for their turn to speak. Nod along, ask follow-up questions, and try not to daydream about what you're going to have for lunch.
7-Don’t cut them off in the middle:
If you don’t agree to them, mindfully move the conversation to other direction but keep your tone positive.
There's a fine line between charmingly self-assured and insufferably arrogant. Don't be afraid to share your thoughts and opinions, but make sure to also show interest in others.
8-Brush up on your trivia:
Knowing a little bit about a lot of things can go a long way in keeping a conversation flowing. Be well-informed about a variety of topics.
9-Keep your body language friendly:
Smile and make eye contact when interacting with others.
Keep an open posture, with arms uncrossed and facing the person you're speaking with.
Use gestures to emphasize your points but keep them natural and relaxed.
Avoid fidgeting or slouching, which can signal disinterest or discomfort.
Lean in slightly when someone is speaking, to show that you're engaged and paying attention.
Use a warm and inviting tone of voice, avoiding monotone or aggressive speech patterns.
10-Mark the conversation:
You can save a topic of conversation which you think the other person enjoyed talking about the most. Knowing what exists them and talking about it later helps you build better connection. This works well when you meet someone for the first time or need to build connection with them.
Great, you too liked that author, me too.
You have to see this. I will mail it to you.
Oh, that sounds interesting. I've always been curious about the stock market. Do you have any advice for someone just starting to invest?"
Start by being an active listener, ask questions, and be genuinely interested in what the other person has to say. Show empathy, and don't be afraid to share your own thoughts and experiences.
And most importantly, don't take yourself too seriously, have fun and be playful.
So, next time you're in a conversation, don't be afraid to shine, be confident and have a dazzling conversation. Trust me, it will pay off in the long run.
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