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How To Make Your Long Distance Relationship Work


"Should I wait?"

"Is it worth waiting for?"

"Will this long-distance relationship last?"

"What if he/she sees people behind my back when I'm sitting far away?"

"Do you even think that the relationship could last if your love is sitting far away from you?"

Should I wait or move on?"




"No long-distance relationship for me! Why the hell do I want to be in a long-distance relationship? I want the person I love here. Right in front of me. Not sitting far away in some part of the world, while I keep waiting, marking the calendar to see him.
If I'm upset today, I don't want to sit with this agonizing feeling, I want him to be around here now, not someday based on his travel plans.
No, not happening, spending my time cursing the network while dealing with blurred video calls, I don't think it can work."
But then I fell madly in love with the man of my dream. As soon as I fell in love, he had to relocate across the globe to continue his career.
What should I do? Should I let go of the relationship just because he has to move far away?
My reasoning mind said yes, but my heart refused to let go of this relationship and I decided to stick to it. And it's working til now- Neena"

Long distance relationship is hard!

There's nothing worse than being apart from the person you love, but what if they have to stay apart?

Should you end the relationship because their geographical location is different from yours? Does distance mean the relationship is doomed?


Well, it depends! For some, it can brew a simmering romance, while for others it gets tiring without physical closeness.


Living close or far won't matter much. If you want your relationship to work, it will work. Relationships end when people want to end them, not because they are far, but because they are done with it. In such cases, nothing can prevent a relationship from falling apart.


In fact, when partners share similar emotional connections and are willing to make the relationship work, long-distance relationships can bring out the best in their feelings. Often love grows stronger when partners long for each other.


Novelty lasts longer in a long-distance relationship:


Once you get into mundane life, the novelty wears off quickly. You don't think holding hands or walking together is a big deal. But when you stay apart, you miss those small touches and activities. You look forward to and crave such small things. You appreciate and cherish those moments of togetherness later on.


Although, there's no denying that long-distance relationships are hard, if you're up for it, you have to hold tight to stay afloat.


Having a long-distance relationship and worried it won't work out?


You both are deeply in love, but geographical separation gets in your way, it could be a city, a country, or sometimes a continent. You both refuse to end it and decide to make it work.


You also know that distance induces agony. And you will end up relying on technology to see each other and long for a real touch. There will be times when you feel frustrated to touch them, feel them, and hold them close. When you want to rest your head on their shoulder; when you want to feel the touch on your skin but will fail to do so. Yearning can, however, strengthen your love for each other during separation when it simmers in the heart.


Only if you both have genuine feelings for each other. Then the distance may act as bumps but won't take away your love if you both share a strong emotional connection and want to make it work.


However, a long-distance relationship is a rocky road, with bumps all around, what you should do to survive it:


Have something to look forward to:


You don't know what is going to happen in the future. When are you going to meet, or whether your relationship will turn into a committed one or not? Also, there will be times when your mind will be plagued with questions, is he/she lying to me, seeing someone else? Are we even right for each other? Uncertainties create legitimate existential crises, where you end up questioning the existence of your relationship, mostly killing the relationship itself.


That's why you should have something to look forward to that gives hope. Like, visiting each other, trying to relocate to the same place, or planning to have a future together. Otherwise, without seeing things in the future, you start losing sight and slowly losing the relationship.


Clear the air:


The thing is, distances act as a homing ground for suspicion to breed. At times people grow insanely jealous or irrationally possessive because they perceive every casual social outing as potentially threatening to a relationship.


And when one of you decides to hide, hold back, or not express what you actually feel, or what is bothering you. Such instances create an air of tension and sometimes turn people into neurotic. "I don't know why he is acting up like this." "Who is the man with her in this picture?" It is better to speak your mind and clear things out.


Talk when you want to, not to oblige:


The first thing people in love do is talk, talk continuously. With the distance between them, they try to continuously stay in touch, thanks to technology. However, there are days, when you are busy, tired, or just don't feel like talking.


Then these calls start to feel like an obligation or a duty to perform. That's why, instead of making a rule that you have to call me 'this time, keep it open.


Call whenever you both are comfortable, so in the long run, you don't fill in your call with filler details. What do you eat? What is the color of your apple? While secretly wishing to hang up the call.


Try having 'No rules, and go with the flow.


See how they are, not what you assume:


Because of the distance between you two, they spend most of the time in your head and your mind plays tricks on you by showing you their incorrect image. Things that may not be true about them.


Making you overlook their obnoxious details by editing their image in your head with the paintbrush you hold in your mind to get the perfect picture of how great they are. Or you may think that everything is wrong with them. In both cases, you stay far from reality.


That's why, instead of creating a faulty picture in your head, try to keep things close to reality.


Avoid endless wait:


You have no clue what the future holds for you two. You don't talk or make an effort for each other. Endless wait feels like a tunnel where you have no idea where it is taking you, making you question your relationship. That's why there should be hope that you two are going to be together in the near future and you both are putting an effort to make that happen.


Minimize nagging, cribbing, complaining, and suspecting without reason:


The biggest drawback of distance is that you can’t physically be around to fix the situation. Often it’s a good thing, like, people don't end up taking an extreme step, but it also limits you from resolving the situation when you are sitting far.


If you don’t trust your partner and you think that they may go behind your back, then set clear expectations. Slight jealousy is natural, but stalking, suspecting, nagging, and fighting over a trivial issue hampers your relationship.


The key is to trust your partner and set clear expectations about what is expected and what is not.

You may have little control over what your partner does behind your back, in such instances, you must decide whether to continue the relationship or end it.


Establish an emotional connection:


If your relationship is built on a strong bond, you will be able to withstand the test of time. In the absence of that, what would keep you together?


By cultivating deep emotional connections, you will be able to sail through rough waters. Consider planting a love seed inside your mind and nurturing it with love languages.


Besides, here are a few things that can help you kindle your love when you sit far away and miss each other:


Make each other feel special often

Write handwritten love letters and love notes

Send gifts

When you meet, make effort to make the most of the moment

Support and believe in each other

Think about each other


Can long-distance work? Yes, and No, it depends on what you want, if you believe your love is worth it and no distance can take that away, then go for it.


What is your experience with the long-distance relationship? Share your experience in the comment below.


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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
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Muzna

Founder and Editor

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