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Hidden Guilt, Why Are You Ruining Mom's Life

Taking a leaf out of mom's diary:


Childbirth meme, mom's guilt

Image credit: Illustrator Bareera Z.


You: Guilt wand!! You won't get a chance.

Guilt wand (GW): No, dear! You are a modern-day mother, and you will see how often I get in action.

You: No way!!


GW: I’m here for you, mom!


Apparently, this guilt wand has a constant presence in your life. Its job is to look around and mark you guilty about every little thing that you fail to do. Making you feel terrible at times that you end up weeping behind closed doors thinking, "I'm such an awful mom."


Best mom ever, meme, mom's guilt


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Bottle Milk

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Bottle milk over breast feeding, meme, mom's guilt

GW: Can't believe how easily you gave up. Perhaps you could have tried harder. It didn't take you long to give up and switch to formula milk. See how other mothers are doing.



---------------------------------------------------------------------- Going Back to Work Post-Maternity:

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After your maternity leave, you decide to resume work by dropping your child off at a full-day preschool.


Going back to work, mom's guilt

The guilt stick slays you the day you step out to join back to work. It makes you feel like a filthy selfish person who doesn’t care for her child. It tore you up until you bled. You end up compensating to prove that you can manage work and home even if that means working 24/7.


GW: Why do you even bother to have her, when you have to leave and go back to work? Sadly, your career comes before your child.

You: To balance work and family, I will work 30 hours a day. To keep things running, I won't sleep; I won't do fun things; I won't do anything 'me'.



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TV as a Babysitter: ----------------------------------------------------------------------

TV as a baby sitter

GW: How could you allow your children to watch TV so you could sleep? Sad. Just because you’re tired and have no energy to sit and settle their fights, you let their innocent brains get corrupted by these shows. You know, what have you done?

Their attention span, eyesight, focus, everything will be affected now.


You: Last night I barely slept at all. I need to nap to function. I rarely slept the night before, and the night before that. I actually don’t remember when I last slept well.


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Going to Work Leaving Your Sick Child:

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- GW: You are leaving your sick child and going to work. What’s the point of being a mother? You left your sobbing child with stretched arms to save your job or because you have bills to pay. Whatever, you’re such a selfish creature.


If you can’t take care of your child when they need you, why bother having them?


You: I'm such a bad mother.


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Not Enjoying What Your Child Say:

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GW: Instead of playing with your child, you choose to look into your phone.


You: "Can I just see what is happening around me? It makes me feel better. I’m worn out and stressed. It helps me take my brain off of things bothering me."


GW: Very well! You feel worn out looking at your own child, that’s sad.


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Your Child Sleeps with You:

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Child sleeps with parents

GW: Have you not read that a child needs to self-soothe and sleep separately?


You: Oh yeah! But you know how she refuses to sleep alone. In fact, she rolls in bed like a cement mixer, gets up every other hour crying, and refuses to go out and sleep alone.


GW: Don’t you bother with what these parenting books suggest, your child should sleep separately and self-soothe.


---------------------------------------------------------------------- Baby Refuses to Eat without Watching ‘Peppa P.’:

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- GW: To make your job easy, you let your child sit in front of the screen, so you can pour in spoons of mashed carrots and bananas into her mouth.

You: I know; I’m not doing a good job as our parents did.


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Eating Junk Food:

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You ordered pizza instead of making broccoli soup.


GW: You feed your child this junk because you have no time to prepare a healthy meal for them today! Go push them towards obesity, and slow brain functioning.


---------------------------------------------------------------------- Your Child Couldn’t Join the Music Class:

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Your neighbor takes their children to different classes, while you fail to chauffer around your child:

GW: Oh, my god, your child is missing out on the activities. How will she learn to be the next Mozart?

You: Though, I know she lacks interest in music. Still, she might improve if she takes classes.

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Fancy Dress:

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Another parent hand-crafted their child’s dress for a fancy clothes competition.


GW: Look at her how she has spent hours and days designing her child's dress, unlike you who simply rented it out. You have no time for your own child. How can your child win any competition when her mother has no time for her?


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Forgot Class Picture Day:

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GW: You forgot class picture day! Great, you have no interest in your child’s life. How can you even forget their class activities?

Have you seen how other mom sits with their children to guide their project? That’s why they won the last competition. And you...hah!!

---------------------------------------------------------------------- You Go to Chill Out:

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- GW: Oh, well well! Leaving children at home to have some fun time with friends. Looks like someone needs time off from their own child. You, selfish woman.


You won’t even bother about what they will be up to behind you. Whether they finish their homework, sneak out to watch TV, haven’t brushed their teeth, or if they swallow something. You don’t care; you need your me time to distress yourself.


How sad that you consider your children to be your source of stress.

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Instead of Reading to Your child, you watched the latest Web Series:

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Binge watching web series, mom's guilt

GW: Wao, instead of reading a bedtime story today. You binge-watch a series. Do you know

How important reading to your child is? How they will develop a keenness toward reading and how will they turn into a lifelong learner?


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As I lay broken, a light came to me and said, "I am Logic, use me to deal with your guilt." While I cannot completely destroy it, I can help you deal with it. Take my guidance in overcoming comparisons, FOMO, nonsense judgments, etc., and you'll be able to overcome this guilt.


So, Remember Moms!!!


In spite of your struggles, you are doing an excellent job as a mother. You are a wonderful mom, and you are doing a Great job mommy. Keep it up!


You: Stay inside, you guilt wand, I have logic to face you.


GW: Oh, I'll be back. (Laughs and flies away.)


Mommies if you enjoyed what you’ve read, please share. Share with other mommies who you think are doing a wonderful job like you.

Also, leave comment which of these guilts you stumble upon often?

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Image credit: All the images are hand drawn by our amazing illustrator Bareera Z.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
soma.JPG

Somya

Hi there! I’m Muzna, the Founder and Editor of The Bliss Key, I live in San Francisco with my family and by profession I’m an eLearning consultant with more than a decade of experience, and a degree in Business Management and Instructional Design

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