Sometimes it's hard to feel cheerful or optimistic when it's dark so early, and the weather is cold, and work is piling up, and so on. Then your mind gives you reason to feel bad and gloomy. Who all have hurt you, why you can’t do something you want to do, and all the other small and big things.
Here’s the thing. In your life, you give space for things you don’t need and hold it tight, without realizing that actually these are holding you back in your life.
What will you want to tell the person going up the mountain, who loads up his backpack with useless stones, bricks, junk? “Hey! You are going to make your journey difficult by picking all that junk.”
But we forget to do the same in our lives, because they are invisible to the eyes. Yes, we collect junk, like resentment, fear, people's opinions and judgments, negative attitudes, and self-doubt. We give these things too much power over us, and then keep wondering what is pulling us down.
No matter how much you feel tempted to make others responsible for what you do, or why you aren’t able to do what you want to do, or your failure or unhappiness, the onus lies on you. So it’s time to throw away what is taking away your awesomeness. And the first one in the list is resentment.
“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” - Saint Augustine
Your friend forgot your birthday. Your boyfriend dumped you. Your in-law’s passed a nasty comment.
Your loved one commits a small act of injustice, someone said or did something that has hurt you.
Time passed, but you held it in your heart.
You did this to me! I'm not going to let it go. I will remember it until I die.
How can I forgive?
I resented it when someone did something that seemed wrong to me, or did not do what I wanted. So, I ensured that I kept my blood boiling, had tense muscles, a sore jaw, and a continued fuming. In my head, I keep replaying those situations that bring out resentment.
It took me long to understand the simple principle that by holding resentment against someone for what they did or said or acted, we cramp our minds with other people’s shit which eventually stinks in our heads.
We get rid of the garbage out of our house, but hold onto a rotten grudge that stinks our well being.
Resentment creeps in our life, uninvited. It makes us hold on to all the negative, all the misery, holding grudges, while we try to think, how can we let go of something that has hurt us? But instead of affecting the person, it actually affects our well-being and creates misery in our own lives.
If someone is not good to you, it’s a learning experience. You know how to behave and what to expect, but don’t hold resentment by giving them space in your head.
If they are unworthy, why are they in your head?
Stop that inner monologue, the chaotic mess, just leave the bags of crap. Don’t hold other people shit in your life; let it go.
I have some great ideas, but I’m scared. I might fail.
There are things I always wanted to try, but something stops me from acting on them.
It’s fear of failure that plagues your mind. For some, even talking to strangers, trying out new things also terrifies. Back in the mind they fear failure, rejection; fear that they might not be good enough or strong enough.
What will happen? What should I do?
Fear knocks you whenever you make a new move. It’s one of the deterring factors which stops you from exploring your true capability. Fear works its own way in your head; it paralyzes you from moving.
But if you carefully observe most of your fear, they would prove to be baseless. You might have spent your time worrying about something that never happened.
Seeing a tiger and running for life out of fear is rational, but certain fears are illusionary.
So next time you feel stuck, rationalize your fear. Is it real or are you just feeling it? Irrational fear, just feel it, and you do those things that scare you anyway, and you will realize most of the fear was groundless.
PEOPLE OPINION AND JUDGMENTS
What would others think if I do this? What if they don’t like me, won’t accept me?
.What should I wear? What to eat? Whom to marry? What career to choose? Should I marry again? What people will say.
Half of our decisions are impacted by what others think. It doesn’t matter what we want. Even when we come out of that, subconsciously, what others think still matters to us.
How many likes do I get on a social platform?
What’s the trend?
We seek continuous validation from people and do certain things just to get approval.
Opinion is fine as long as it comes as a suggestion, but when others opinions start affecting your life, it’s time to put a stop.
I’m not good enough. I can’t do this. I’m not capable of it. I’ m not worthy enough. I can’t achieve this goal. All these are others opinion you are carrying. Leave them and move on.
Each morning when I sit to write, a tiny doubt creeps into my head. Are people going to read these posts or not? The amount of effort I put into writing a piece, is it really worth it?
Each day, I make a choice of writing without worrying about the outcome, or I could get carried away by my self-doubt and quit. Well, If I’m convinced that the job I’m doing is worthy, I will continue doing it.
Self-doubt deters you right in your face; it tries to convince you why you shouldn’t do something. It pulls you back from what you want to do. It stops you from exploring your self-worth; it always come up with a reason why you shouldn’t do it.
Isn’t it better to keep trying without doubting your capabilities? Otherwise, one day you sit and think, what if I had done it. Go and test it, so you won’t live a life of regrets.
Simply take action. Start now, do, learn, try, and get better at it.
Don’t give power to fear, resentment, doubt, or people's judgement over what you believe in; have faith and move on. No one can change anything for you; it’s you who has the sole responsibility of making your life awesome.
Nothing will change unless you are determined to change your life.
Which of these will you throw away from your life now, tell us in the comment section. Share it with people you want them to do the same.